Familiarity and Mind Numbing

Being back in familiarity makes the mind numb. Makes my mind numb…or perhaps just comfortable. Every day flies by so quickly and leisurely for I know my surroundings so well that I don’t have to think. I know my family and friends inside and out so I can just be. It’s as if the brain cells have literally slowed in their transmissions.

Writing this entry should be so simple, I was up last night thinking about what I was to write and how and this thought-provoking idea came to mind – mainly that I have lost all thought-provoking ideas since my return to my “home of comfort.” Or maybe I’m just tired and needed this break.

Maybe I should trust that this is what I need at this moment. After all, very shortly I will be in Chicago in another new city, finding a new home and a new job. Instead of beating myself up for it, maybe I need to give into it.

I haven’t been back in Baltimore for longer than two or three months in ten years and yet, it is here that will always be home. I’d forgotten how easy it could be to be back home – I’ve lived in unfamiliar territory since my 18th birthday. I got used to that – it’s not an on edge feeling – but it’s more survival instincts perhaps…being on your best form because you don’t know what someone will throw at you, how, when or why.

It’s also when things are unfamiliar and new that the idiosyncrasies of life come alive and creativity flows out fast and with need.

I’m not complaining. This sense of comfort is relaxing, but it’s amazing how quickly coming back home becomes normal and like I never left.

Nearly a month and a half has passed since we left the UK for the United States (the United States because we’ve driven through 15 of them), and I have had so many adventures, but have only really written in detail about one of them.

A family reunion, my 28th birthday party, a wedding, Americana at its finest (there are so many eloquent ways to describe the Americana I’ve seen, but I can’t think of any), a beach in Delaware with my best friend and her family, a funeral this week, partying in downtown Chicago, sipping champagne at the top of the Hancock building, an outdoor movie downtown, Charlie and Eileen visiting, biking with my stepfather and his new wife on the NCR trail – the list goes on. I’m only now processing this.

My neurons are slow.

How am I supposed to find a job in this climate of slow mental emissions – SME they call it?

A comprehensive list of things to do to regain control of ambitions:

1. Google “Jobs in Chicago”

2. Google “Apartments in Chicago”

3. Send off letters to literary agents requesting that they grab my novel and sell it right away because I will make them a lot of money.

4. Google “Literary Agents”

5. Wake up before 10AM every morning.

6. Stop watching “Housewives of New Jersey” marathons, followed by “Intervention” programs and “Hoarders” (oh, it’s even better than they said it would be! Now I just have to try to catch “Teen Moms” and my life will be complete.).

7. Stop being distracted while making lists of “to do” items by children’s television programs.

Now, enjoy some more of these Natalie Dee comics that I just found.

In honor of babysitting my nephew this week:

In honor of random jokes that make me laugh a little too hard:

In honor of being back home:

One thought on “Familiarity and Mind Numbing

  1. Love those comics! I think once you stop watching “The Real Housewives of [insert city here]” you'll be fine. Studies show that they use a subliminal subtext to make you want to watch it more and more and stop doing anything productive. Keep on keeping on! We love you out here in LaLa Land!XO

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